The Unexpected
It's the unexpected things that I've come to expect.
The other day my husband and I went to the grocery store for the first time in weeks. My mother had been a part of this outing with me for 20 years - most of my adult life. Because she has lived near me and didn't drive, we always went together. And although she hadn't been able to go to the store with me for about a year and a half, I still shopped for her.
My coupon book contained old lists in her handwriting, scratch off lottery tickets to be cashed in and her coupons. I eliminated all and laid the paper on the dashboard. My husband gave me a questioning look.
"I don't want to have a meltdown in the store," I told him.
As I set out on the produce aisle, I listened to the Musak blaring and pushed thoughts of my recent loss from my head, concentrating on what I needed to make a week's worth of dinners.
On the second aisle, as I put the canned fruit into the cart, I realized I was still arranging the goods into "Ours" and "Hers."
I teared up. Grabbing for a tissue, which was under my purse and also under the cloth bags Mom and I bought together to help save the planet, I realized it will be the unexpected things I will have to come to expect that will work me up.
There is no way to purge the bits of memories from my mind or my life until they change from painful to comforting.
I finally gained my composure and realized 3 of the 5 recipes I had in my hand came from my mother.
I chose them because they are a combination of my favorites and my husbands.
Comfort foods
The other day my husband and I went to the grocery store for the first time in weeks. My mother had been a part of this outing with me for 20 years - most of my adult life. Because she has lived near me and didn't drive, we always went together. And although she hadn't been able to go to the store with me for about a year and a half, I still shopped for her.
My coupon book contained old lists in her handwriting, scratch off lottery tickets to be cashed in and her coupons. I eliminated all and laid the paper on the dashboard. My husband gave me a questioning look.
"I don't want to have a meltdown in the store," I told him.
As I set out on the produce aisle, I listened to the Musak blaring and pushed thoughts of my recent loss from my head, concentrating on what I needed to make a week's worth of dinners.
On the second aisle, as I put the canned fruit into the cart, I realized I was still arranging the goods into "Ours" and "Hers."
I teared up. Grabbing for a tissue, which was under my purse and also under the cloth bags Mom and I bought together to help save the planet, I realized it will be the unexpected things I will have to come to expect that will work me up.
There is no way to purge the bits of memories from my mind or my life until they change from painful to comforting.
I finally gained my composure and realized 3 of the 5 recipes I had in my hand came from my mother.
I chose them because they are a combination of my favorites and my husbands.
Comfort foods
posted by Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell at 5:15 AM
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