Drained
My husband didn't realize until yesterday why I come home from the hospital completely drained. He drove me up there because of the snow we got Monday night into yesterday morning. I usually discourage him visiting because he isn't a big one to sit around making conversation and he gets antsy sitting in one spot too long.
I think seeing anyone you love sick is draining, but trying to carry a one-sided conversation is just completely exhausting. But I somehow managed to find a lot to say in the 2 hour visit, even though my mother can't get out a full sentence.
Which brings me to the other aspect of the whole experience that reminds me our roles are really now reversed. With a stack of adult diapers next to her bedside and the way we are having to currently communicate, in short baby-like words strung together, it makes the visits even more disheartening.
Still, I maintain a happy attitude when I'm there and if I think the whole experience is getting too much, I get up and comb her hair for her or go check with the nurse to see if any new orders have come in or she's been put on any new meds so I can do my homework after I leave.
Yesterday on the way home from the hospital, we stopped at a bar b que place where we used to stop after Sunday fishing trips to the nearby lake.
I'm usually not a week-day drinker, but our meals wouldn't have seemed complete without a beer.
I was right, it was what the doctor ordered to help relieve my tension and relax me into an early sleep last night.
Sometimes I just need the escape for a little while because from the moment I wake each morning I remember the nightmare we're living each day.
I think seeing anyone you love sick is draining, but trying to carry a one-sided conversation is just completely exhausting. But I somehow managed to find a lot to say in the 2 hour visit, even though my mother can't get out a full sentence.
Which brings me to the other aspect of the whole experience that reminds me our roles are really now reversed. With a stack of adult diapers next to her bedside and the way we are having to currently communicate, in short baby-like words strung together, it makes the visits even more disheartening.
Still, I maintain a happy attitude when I'm there and if I think the whole experience is getting too much, I get up and comb her hair for her or go check with the nurse to see if any new orders have come in or she's been put on any new meds so I can do my homework after I leave.
Yesterday on the way home from the hospital, we stopped at a bar b que place where we used to stop after Sunday fishing trips to the nearby lake.
I'm usually not a week-day drinker, but our meals wouldn't have seemed complete without a beer.
I was right, it was what the doctor ordered to help relieve my tension and relax me into an early sleep last night.
Sometimes I just need the escape for a little while because from the moment I wake each morning I remember the nightmare we're living each day.
posted by Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell at 2:04 AM
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