Everything in its Place
Mom developed a curious habit everytime she's been in the hospital.
Her bedside table must be just so, coming from the left of her bed and everything on it must be in its proper order. This just isn't her, it usually didn't matter where things were in her house as long as she could find them.
I asked her about this the other day and she motioned to me it was so she would have everything within reach.
Still, I sensed it was something more than that and last night she confirmed it when I tried to put her bedside table to her right. "No, here," she demanded mostly with her improvised sign language. She could reach it just fine from the other side, but she wanted it to be where she wanted it.
This morning I finally understood why when my own need for things to be in order hit me. I got all my writing assignments completely finished; all of the bills written out for as far ahead as the bank account would allow and started cleaning the house.
Now, any of you who know me that isn't me. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants procrastinator.
I came to the conclusion that our out of the box behavior has to do with control. She's lost control of her health and the only thing she can control is the order of her bedside table. I've lost control of helping her and the only thing I could control this morning was the order of my business and house.
But right now, we still have each other and making the most of it is something I also can control.
Her bedside table must be just so, coming from the left of her bed and everything on it must be in its proper order. This just isn't her, it usually didn't matter where things were in her house as long as she could find them.
I asked her about this the other day and she motioned to me it was so she would have everything within reach.
Still, I sensed it was something more than that and last night she confirmed it when I tried to put her bedside table to her right. "No, here," she demanded mostly with her improvised sign language. She could reach it just fine from the other side, but she wanted it to be where she wanted it.
This morning I finally understood why when my own need for things to be in order hit me. I got all my writing assignments completely finished; all of the bills written out for as far ahead as the bank account would allow and started cleaning the house.
Now, any of you who know me that isn't me. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants procrastinator.
I came to the conclusion that our out of the box behavior has to do with control. She's lost control of her health and the only thing she can control is the order of her bedside table. I've lost control of helping her and the only thing I could control this morning was the order of my business and house.
But right now, we still have each other and making the most of it is something I also can control.
posted by Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell at 8:42 AM
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