Not a Typical Week

Unfortunately for me and Mom, it hasn't been a typical week. Mom has COPD and mild congestive heart failure, along with suspected allergies. So, when all of those forces combine to make it hard to breathe, the results can be a slight infection with fever. That's how it started on Tuesday, but Mom's coughing eventually aggravated an old back injury so by last night, she not only felt horrible and was having a hard time breathing, she was in a lot of pain with her back.
And like so many times before since this journey into old age began, she did something I don't understand - she cancelled a doctor's appointment that had already been set 2 months ago. Her reasoning: she didn't want to get out in the cold.
There's some experiences in life that you truly cannot understand unless you walk in that person's shoes and I think growing old and ill is one of them. Everything that we've ever come to understand about common sense flies out the window for the people on this journey with them.
If you're not feeling well, wouldn't it make sense that's when you keep your appointments with the doctor?
Not for my mom.
And I don't know what it is that I'm expected to do. I'm not trained in medicine and I don't really believe I'm that good at comforting.
It's times like these that sometimes do give me an ounce of understanding for people who've left their loved ones in nursing homes to the complete care of others. It's times like these that sometimes makes me want to run screaming for the nearest airport.
But I don't. I usually run screaming for my favorite sushi bar with a good friend. Many people I know can't imagine eating raw fish, my mother included.
I have to admit, at one time I couldn't imagine it either.
But especially on days such as this, I order a good Japanese beer, savor my favorite dishes and enjoy the atmosphere.
It helps me gain my strength for another day.
And with it, I gain some understanding of why my mother may not want to see the doctor, especially when she is feeling so bad.